A few days ago, I wrote about the odd dreams I’ve had since this cancer bullshit started. They’ve been extremely odd, just random images and feelings that generally seem to have no connection to anything.
Sad thing is, with a couple of exceptions, I never wrote any of them down. Pretty stupid for a writer type who constantly mines his own life for material.
So after last night’s duo of dreams, I thought I’d start giving at least a taste of what my subconscious is doing.
First dream had to do with little green apples. I don’t remember what was going on, or where I was, or what I was doing. But I do remember that almost everything was covered in that particular shade of green you find in those terrible apples (for me, if it’s not Gala or Red Delicious, I’m not interested).
All that was bad enough, green everywhere I looked, but the worst was le shoes.
Green. Absolutely green. Green apple green. Hideously, horribly green.
What the hell? I’m wearing green shoes? And not like green sneaks you might see a young kid wear. They were more like Florshiem shoes that someone had dyed apple green. I can even remember tiny black spots and specks. Do green apples have those specks? Or were these green apples, and the accompanying shoes, riddled with filth and disease? With Dengue Fever and Ebola and maybe even Avian Flu? Or maybe —
Okay, getting a little carried away.
That’s it, then. The entire, short dream. I walked around in these green shoes and then it was over. Care to analyze that one, anyone?
Last night’s second feature was a bit more obvious, though still outta left field.
Back when I was at Lee High School, I was one of those kids who did nothing but band. Marching band, honor band, orchestra, jazz band, choral pop group, sole and ensemble, etc. etc. All I did was music. Kind of figured everything else was a waste of time.
The band went on more than a few trips, including to Washington, D.C. to perform as George Bush, Sr.’s official band. (This was in 1984, the first ‘once in a lifetime trip’ the band got to experience. There was a second ‘once in a lifetime’ experience four years later when Bush was elected president. Hell, for all I know, there might have been a third ‘once in a lifetime experience’ when W. was elected in 2000. Obviously, Midland and the Bushes are very close.)
Anyway, I was high school aged in this dream and the band was at some hotel, trying to get everything together to go march. But not like during the actual trips, when we’d leave the hotel and our gear would be at the site. This was us getting out gear in the hotel lobby, and getting ready to perform.
I couldn’t find my damn drum.
I’m wandering around in my band uniform looking for that drum, and I can’t find anything.
And those people around me aren’t helping at all. Of course, it turns out those people around me aren’t band kids I went to school with, they’re writers I’ve gotten to know over the last ten years at various writers’ conventions.
The dream was a very odd mix of band trips and writers’ conventions. I guess it was lucky I was drinking like I do at those conventions, seeing as how I had on a school uniform and was…you know…17 years old; not that I ever let age stop me from sipping a round or two…hehehehe…. And luckily, I started losing my hair in the 11th grade so I always looked older than I was, which was good because getting a fake ID would have been a crime!
So that’s it. I have no idea what either of those dreams — or the tons I’ve not written about — have to do with anything. But all the strangeness started when I started chemo so I assume that’s the connection. Ah, I can see the marketing campaign now. “Chemotherapy, the launch pad of your dreams.”
You know what? Now that I think about it, there was an ad on TV the other day that might have triggered the apples. It was one of those stupid Ethan Allan ads and the first room the ad showed us was decorated and trimmed in the green of my dreams.
There was also a yellow room, a burgandy room, and maybe a purple one. God knows what that’s going to do to my dreams. Tonight, I’ll probably be wearing purple underwear with a yellow fedora…and those damned green shoes.