Number Ten: It’s raining…really hard.
Number Nine: My tummy doesn’t feel good.
Number Eight: They were ‘light’ drinks…you know, that lesser-affecting 80-proof vodka.
Number Seven: The drinks were watered down with ICE…cool, refreshing, AND diluting!
Number Six: It was a really, really, really small glass. It only held 6 ounces, after all!
Number Five: Hey, I didn’t even finish that last one!
Number Four: Because she was wearing really high heels…hell, they were probably 2 and 3/4 inches tall! Magnum height, baby!
Number Three: They were distracted by the chaos…you know, the chaos created when someone asks them how much they’ve had to drink.
Number Two: The length of their pants was questionable.
And the Number One Reason they Can’t Be Drunk –
The bartender just happened to be an organic chemist and he knows from booze!
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* taken from testimony offered at a public trial
