A few days ago, I stopped a guy for speeding. Usually, while doing my small talk thing, I try to find out why they were speeding. A medical problem? Accelerator stuck? Car actually standing still but Earth rotating too fast? Whatever it might be.
This was the best answer I’ve ever gotten (even better than when Dad said his son was sick and at that precise moment, sonny-boy threw up from the backseat all the way to the windshield five feet away).
“So…any reason you’re driving so fast?”
“Just wondering why you’re moving so quickly today.”
“Oh. Well…I’m a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman.”
“I’m just not very smart.”