The Map To My World

And now, from the home office down the road at my IT guy’s house, a completely random countdown of eight search terms used to find my website and blog (in no particular order):

– Guns and boobs.

I’m totally good with this one.  I enjoy the odd gun and the occasional boob so we’re good here.

–  Dreams of getting shot five times.

I’ve had dreams of getting shot – though I don’t remember a specific number – and it’s entirely possible I’ve written about those dreams.  I don’t remember this particularly but okay.

–  Trey Baker Big Tex Trailers

Uhhhh….  What?  I think that was a misdirect.

– trey president george bush

Hehehehe…haaahaaa…bwaaaaaaahhaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa….  Oh, stop…my side hurts.  That’s hysterical.  Not sure I’ve ever written about my interaction, in 1984, with the future president George W. Bush, but I’ve told a shitload of people.  Perhaps that story is worth an entry.  Involved both Bushes, the Secret Service, Thomas Eagleton, a high school marching band, parking ticket, being thrown out of an event, etc.  In other words, a standard story of mine.

– Execute sex offenders

Wow.  Harsh.  I’d like them to go to prison, certainly, but I’m not sure I’ve ever said they should be executed. Seriously, I’m not sure where I stand on the death penalty.  Sometimes for it, sometimes against it.  Sort of like taco pizza…sometimes for it…sometimes against it.

–  Larry the Crime Donkey

Funny.  I wrote about this, and posted a picture, nearly two years ago.  It was something I discovered during my book tour on the way back from Texas.  I want to say at a Jack in the Box in Missouri somewhere.  A giant poster hanging on the wall of Larry the Crime Donkey.  It was pretty funny.  Would have only been funnier if it had been a signed poster….

–  Cowboy cocksucker

This came from Bouchercon 2011, in St. Louis.  Lori Armstrong, Sean Doolittle, Karen Olson and I had our Not-Usually-Annual-But-Sometimes-Annual drink.  Each time, someone else chooses what the drink will be.  It started years ago in Madison when that particular group and I had a shot of Jack Daniel’s as a non-memorial shot.  It was non-memorial because at the time I was fighting cancer, but wasn’t yet quite dead and so one of my dear, dear friends (luckily can’t remember which), said, “Hey, your friends are mostly glad you’re not dead.”  So we had a celebratory, non-memorial shot.  The Cowboy Cocksucker was Lori’s pick this year.  Actually wasn’t half bad….

And the most interesting, most off the wall random search term?

–  “pvc pipe” “bicycle inner tube” penis

I have not a single freakin’ clue what any of that means…or how it gets anyone to my website.

But I’ll certainly take the traffic.